Today was not a good mothering day. I was angry more than I want to admit. My patience only lasted until about noon. And then I let things get to me. I punished and punished some more. I threatened, and lectured, and withdrew. Not a good day for anyone.
I always try to remind myself to work with my kids instead of against them, but today I was focused on me. I was focused on what I wanted--on what I thought I needed. I was on my own team, playing against them.
Tonight as I was cleaning up the dinner dishes, I thought to myself. Whose team am I on anyway? I definitely wasn't playing for my kids' team today. And that wasn't any fun for any of us.
We have so many happy moments in our home. So many times where my kids laugh at my silly voices or little dance moves. Times where my heart melts because these cute little girlies are pretending like nobody's business. Sweet snuggling moments reading books together. Great adventures in the backyard. Times full of curiosity, experiments, and learning. Teaching moments and growing moments.
And today I missed out on that because I was focused on what I wanted to happen or what I thought was more important. A friend of ours once told us, speaking of marriage, but I think it applies to life in general, that "a little bit of selfishness goes a long way." It sure does. It drives us apart and sets us up for disharmony and discontent.
Well, here's to tomorrow. A fresh day. A fresh start. A day with no mistakes in it.
