Today was not a good mothering day. I was angry more than I want to admit. My patience only lasted until about noon. And then I let things get to me. I punished and punished some more. I threatened, and lectured, and withdrew. Not a good day for anyone.
I always try to remind myself to work with my kids instead of against them, but today I was focused on me. I was focused on what I wanted--on what I thought I needed. I was on my own team, playing against them.
Tonight as I was cleaning up the dinner dishes, I thought to myself. Whose team am I on anyway? I definitely wasn't playing for my kids' team today. And that wasn't any fun for any of us.
We have so many happy moments in our home. So many times where my kids laugh at my silly voices or little dance moves. Times where my heart melts because these cute little girlies are pretending like nobody's business. Sweet snuggling moments reading books together. Great adventures in the backyard. Times full of curiosity, experiments, and learning. Teaching moments and growing moments.
And today I missed out on that because I was focused on what I wanted to happen or what I thought was more important. A friend of ours once told us, speaking of marriage, but I think it applies to life in general, that "a little bit of selfishness goes a long way." It sure does. It drives us apart and sets us up for disharmony and discontent.
Well, here's to tomorrow. A fresh day. A fresh start. A day with no mistakes in it.
6 comments:
Jill what you said totally resonates with me. It's a good question to ask myself... Who's team am I on. Just for the record, I hope I I can be more like you in every way, mothering included. You are amazing, even after a hard day. :)
you already know how very much I can relate! all we can do is press on and hope for a better tomorrow--and of course remember whose team we are on. great post! I'm glad I'm not alone in this.
I want to frame this and put it on my wall! Too many good points to mention! I read something the other day that talked about "loving and encouraging" our kids. Duh I love my kids...I usually try to be patient...but encouraging when they were acting out was something I wasn't doing. I tried it and it changed the whole tone of a meltdown. I think they could feel my frustration before when trying to work with them but just saying things like "I know you can do this" and things that encourage helped us a lot. I heard Audrey say the other day under her breath "I just have to believe in myself" :) Kinda cheesy....but sweet too.
oh Marcie, that just melts my heart about what Audrey said. I have been working on the praising and encouraging thing too. NOt yesterday, (I was a monster yesterday), but in the last two months, I have been really working on really listening to my kids and working with them not against. And it has changed everything. just saying "I'm listening. I'm trying to understand" goes a long way. and a big encouraging smile works wonders too. Sadie, I miss you! Let's chat soon. I sent you my phone number in a facebook message.
Thanks for sharing such a personal, but inspirational moment. It really is all about perspective I think. Now if I can just remember that.
Ohh I've been having those days far too often. The ones where you go to bed praying that tomorrow will be better, and hoping you can make it through the next day with far less yelling, lecturing. I love what you said about which team we really are on... you are so right! Thanks for posting this, after days like today I really needed this!
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