It's 3:37 am and I am awake feeding Henry and my heart is bursting with gratitude for all my blessings big or little.
This last week was a hard week, but we got through it. I'm so happy I have good kids and a loving husband who works so hard to take care of me and our kids.
I'm grateful for the hard moments in life that push you to grow and love and learn more than you have before. The sleepless nights with children. The pain and inconvenience of surgery. The heartache from seeing your children struggle or suffer. The demands of everyday life life when you are not at your best. All these things force you to dig down deep and find strength to do hard things.
When I was in college, I had a particular experience that gave me an epiphany. "Hard things"--or trials--aren't bad. At least they don't have to be. With faith and gratitude "hard things" can be blessings. They can make life rich. They can make life beautiful.
Raising a family is difficult and exhausting. There are so many hard things to go through--to learn. But in between and around and sometimes during those hard things, there is pure and sacred joy.
I felt that sacred joy while Justin spoon fed me yogurt because I couldn't do it myself. I felt it again as I watched my six year old try to bravely eat some solid food so she could get over her illness. I felt it when I could see my baby boy breathing fine after a coughing fit.
I feel that joy everyday when I hear Amelia say as only she can, "okay, mama."
I feel it when Gracie selflessly shares all that she has so no one goes without.
I feel it when Katie quietly hands me a picture she drew me and tells me it's to cheer me up.
Family life is beautifully full of sacred joy, and in the very wee hours of this morning, I am so very grateful to experience all of it.
funny how you don't truly appreciate something very much until it's gone or missing or not like how it usually is. Today, I am grateful for normally healthy children, sleeping baby, and being able to chew foods... (i got my wisdom teeth out this week). As my mom says, "we're all breathing and out of the hospital and no one is in jail" so I guess I have everything to be grateful for. (but i will really be grateful for next week to come, please oh please be normal.)